I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
