Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
