So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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