she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
