Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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