Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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