dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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