Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
