Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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