I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
