those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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