I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
