He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think i have two assholes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
