Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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