I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
