I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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