my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
