apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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