Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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