quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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