Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
