Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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You. Win. At. Life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
