i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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