i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
