His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He did a backflip because drugs
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