Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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