No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
