Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
