i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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