Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
