She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
