I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize