Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
