woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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