WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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