I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The power of my boobs compel you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
