I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
