now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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