We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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