i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
