Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
