she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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