talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
