Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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