As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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