Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
