come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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