Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
