I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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