I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
