I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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