I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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