talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
