Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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