He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
