i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
