the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
