hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
