So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
